Dear Robert,

I am 38 years old and I just got out of prison after serving 5 years on a drug charge. I've never been the best husband; I used alot of drugs and alcohol and ignored my wife when she tried to get me help. All this time, my wife has stuck by me, even while I was in prison and while I was there, I thought alot about how much I love her and how she stuck by me through thick and thin. Here's my problem: as soon as I got out of prison, she broke up with me and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't understand how she could do this to me. I feel like a part of my heart has been torn out and I am very depressed. Can you tell me how to win her back?

Timothy in Decatur, Georgia

Dear Timothy,

Some people need to hit rock bottom before they see the light and I think you are one of those people. Often, we hurt the ones we love the most and don't realize until it's too late what we've done. It's obvious to me that your wife stuck by you until you were free out of sense of obligation and Christian duty as a wife, but now feels that she can move on. I noticed that you only talk about how YOU feel. What about how your wife feels and has felt all this time? There's no way for me to say whether your wife will ever give you another chance, so it's probably best for you to start rebuilding your life and learn to stand on your own two feet. That way, you can show any future females that you are a new man.

Robert Stokes

Advice Archives