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He Called Me By Another Woman's Name

Robert Stokes
Robert Stokes

Dear Robert,

Last weekend, my fiance and I were making love (after we'd had a few drinks) and he whispered I love you Carol. My name is not Carol. Later I demanded to know what he meant be that and asked him was he sleeping with Carol. He said no and he apologized. Still I'm devastated and I don't know if I can ever forget this awful name mix-up. I am considering breaking off our engagement. What do you think?

M. B., Macon


Dear M. B.,

No lover called the wrong name in a moment of tender passion is going to sit up and laugh. But I don't think you should scrap an otherwise relationship because of one little slip of the tongue. Him saying "I love you Carol," doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you. Nor does it mean he secretly wants to sleep with Carol. It's probably just a slip of the tongue caused by too much alcohol.

I think you should calm down and give him the benefit of the doubt. Canceling your engagement is a drastic sentence for an unproved charge.

Robert Stokes


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Personal Advice is a question and answer column that answers a wide range of reader-submitted questions. Personal Advice is solely an educational feature and is not intended to replace the advice of a physician, attorney, and/or marriage counselor.