Dear Robert,

I have a problem. My wife, whom I've been married to for almost 20 years, will not let me kiss her passionately. She enjoys sex, but no kisses. This has been going on for about 10 years. At first, I didn't care but now it really bothers me. What do you make of this?

A.R., Albany

Dear A.R.,

The fact is, kissing is central to intimacy and often to sexual arousal, particularly in women. In fact, many consider kissing more intimate than sex. I suggest you ask her if there's any reason she dislikes kissing you. Do you have bad breath? Do you kiss in a way that turns her off? Engage your wife in a conversation about this at a quiet time in a place other than the bedroom. Communication is the key to successful and fulfilling marital relations.

Robert Stokes

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